http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi Ramblings of a Mad Man Wed, 17 Dec 2008 22:22:48 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en I hadn't previous realized the potential of Podcasts, but lately I've decided to start sifting through what iTunes has to offer. I'm finding a lot of valuable content. Here are my current favorites: The Accidental Creative http://www.accidentalcreative.com It is the age of creativity and "cover bands" don't change the world. You MUST find ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2008/11/my-favorite-music-info-related-podcasts My heart's been thrown to the dustbins,  waiting for the days to begin. I'm sick of trying to understand a life that's been so hard to withstand. Each step seems like it's headed uphill, but I can no longer stand to be still. The days pass away like seconds to a year, nothings left inside, but tears... and Lonely ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2008/10/with-my-heart-pounding Show me the meaning of infinity, as I suffer through my inability to see past the days when my heart was first set ablaze, It's been a thousand years since music's filled the atmosphere. All my yearning is incomplete, as days go by, they're bittersweet. Too many ideas, left in my head, Too many words, left unsaid. Destiny's been leaving ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2008/09/bittersweet My own thoughts these days sometime feel as if they are the great mystery of the universe. Something I'll never understand. Sometimes I live so deep within my own head, that when I take a break to just linger, the World feels like it's spinning around me. Sometimes hazy. I'm ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2008/09/branches New York, NY, April 17, 2008: To remind the public, members of the music industry and U.S. legislators of the central role and rights of those who conceive and create music, ASCAP (the American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers) today officially launched a 'Bill of Rights for Songwriters ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2008/04/ascap-launches-bill-of-rights-for-songwriters-and-composers Me and my longtime friend Xavier have been planning to put together a record label. It took me long enough to try to figure out a name, although, I did find one. The name is actually a term I used in the early '90's to describe the style of bass-lines ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2008/04/octava-records Audio Journal Entry Audesi - Wave Profusion (Rough Draft) [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/2008-02-21.mp3] There, just two feet below him, was the stream — alive, sparkling, thrilling. He had known about it all along, but at that moment he actually saw it flowing beneath him. http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2008/02/wave-profusion Audio Journal Entry Audesi - The Infernal Machine [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/01-30-2008.mp3] I decided I'm sick of the flow of slow computers and waiting for softsynths to load and of connecting tracks and everything... It just seems like the flow of everything is becoming SO SLOW!! I'm sick of it! I hooked up all my hardware synths, ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2008/01/the-infernal-machine Audio Journal Entry Audesi - Slow Birth [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/01-29-2008.mp3] http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2008/01/slow-birth Here is a bit of reading material I found on the net in the last few days, which I felt could be beneficial to emerging artists. Written by both David Byrne (from Talking Heads fame), with audio of a chat with Brian Eno. As well as a recent blog post ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2008/01/suggested-reading-for-upcoming-artists 817 Let me know what you think. Thanks. :) http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2008/01/new-audesi-press-photo This year, I've vowed to myself to be more organized. I have a short term list and a routine. But like so many times before, I don't want to get stuck in a hole. I'm trying to balance things out with the little enjoyments and curiosities in life. I've been ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2008/01/just-the-little-things Celldweller - Frozen (Audesi Remix) [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/11-27-2007.mp3] Appears courtesy of FIXT Music. Frozen Remix CD [3CD Set] 810 Three CD's featuring the Audesi Remix of the Celldweller track 'Frozen' and 42 remixes by other artists is available to order now for $14.99. [Pre-Sale] Orders will ship the 1st week of December. Click here to purchase. http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/11/celldweller-frozen-audesi-remix Sorry for the low quality, these were taken with a cellphone by a friend. The sound is completely not even there... If anyone has any higher quality video, let me know! We'd love to see it! This first video is from Urban Lounge on Oct 27th. [See pictures here]. The ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/11/178 Lately, I seem to be consumed with our origins, the universe, time and space and beautiful mathematics. If you are too, check this out and let me know what you think. Pretty interesting. All fields of the standard model and gravity are unified as an E8 principal bundle connection. A non-compact ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/11/a-theory-of-everything Audesi's remix of lvl's track 'Home' is now available to purchase from FIXT Music! The release date was Tues, 13th Nov. The Home Remix EP also includes a revision by Klayton of Celldweller and remixes by Deprogrammed and Nonplus. Cost is $0.99 per digital download or $4.95 for the digital ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/11/lvl-home-audesi-remix-available-now Audio Journal Entry Audesi - Shallow Reminder [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/11-13-2007.mp3] Kind of Phat (Beat) [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/11-13-2007%202.mp3] http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/11/shallow-reminder This was Polaroid Kiss' first gig. The crowd and the performance went great! :) We opened for ex-Sneaker Pimps Chris Corner's band IAMX. The bass was so strong near the end that we blew the fuse to the sound system, it didn't effect the sound during the performance at all though. :) These ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/10/oct-27th-pk-opening-for-iamx-urban-lounge-salt-lake-city-ut Shake It: Polaroid Kiss win friends with synth-y bleeps and boops but, so far, no label-maker. 781 By Jenny Poplar Posted 10/25/2007 In less than one year, Salt Lake City’s Polaroid Kiss has accomplished things that might cause musicians in more metropolitan cities to shake their fists in the air. How, they must ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/10/polaroid-kiss-featured-in-salt-lake-city-weekly Yesterday, Polaroid Kiss did an interview for City Weekly. The photographer couldn't show up, so we should have a date scheduled sometime before the IAMX show. I wrote Brandun a huge ass email about how I felt pissed off at how he acted towards me during the interview. I felt ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/10/city-weekly My studio has been portable and all over the place lately. I've started losing weight lugging everything around. hah. Here's just a few random pics I've taken tonight in Mandy's room. 768771773775777779 http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/10/october-15th-2007 I’ve been shriveling up inside, hiding, tucked far away, beneath time and space; in such a lonely place. I’ve wondered why I feel like screaming, well, life starts to lose meaning when I’m tied up in an empty room. It’s becomes harder to express myself. The drought keeps growing longer, ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/10/war-with-myself Here's a few pictures from practice the other day. It was just me and Brandun going through White Lines and Love in Transition and helping Brandun setup his NI Kore rig. I'll explain the setup and how every thing is running when I have some time to get into ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/10/live-rig Me and Mandy at home after seeing a local band perform called 'The Brobecks'. 756 Picture by Mandy http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/10/october-6th-2007 Now comes the fun part. Polaroid Kiss started practicing tonight as a full band, minus a drummer. I didn't wake up until Brandun called me up on my cellphone about an hour and a half later than I had planned to be to practice, so we didn't have as much ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/10/first-full-practice-with-pk Audesi - The Quintessence [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/10-01-2007.mp3] Click to listen This is a demo track I created for Sample Logic's new sample library called 'The Elements'. I created it using only sounds from the library. It ships October 15th and is available to preorder now for $299. The Elements is a 13.5GB/4 DVD library that contains ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/10/the-quintessence The last few days I've been taking a break from the production work I've been doing in the studio for various projects. It's good to have a break, although I'm eager to get everything done and out of the way, so that I can start concentrating on new material of ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/09/setting-up-the-new-site Audesi - Debris (Audio Journal Entry) [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/2007-09-24.dnp] http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/09/debris I'm so tired... I've just been sort of passing out the last few days at night, then I've been waking up and just popping out of bed.. A few hours later, I'm thinking to myself, maybe I didn't sleep quite as long as I should have. Dunno what's up. I bought ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/09/forests-for-trees Jeez, now I'm officially a geek.. I've been using my idle CPU time on both my laptop and server computer to analyse RNA structures to benefit science and to aid in analysing transmission frequencies in the search for extra-terrestrial intelligence (SETI@Home). LMFAO.. Well, it's probably the only influence I can ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/09/thought-beyond-any-possible-conclusion We struggle to be heard, in a vicious cycle of fault. We're developing a social disease that needs to stop. We walk alone, in cities of hundreds of thousands. It's come down to who shouts the loudest, or works until every ounce of passion relinquishes itself to a jaded and ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/08/infintesimal Writing is something that I've needed to do lately, which I actually have been doing some in my notebooks the past little while, but as far as writing things that are in the public view, I haven't really written anything. I've also felt a bit more creative musically and been ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/08/just-an-entry This is what I've been working on for the last 5 days. Polaroid Kiss - Stop Motion [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/2007-08-26.mp3] Credits: Tom Bennett, Brandun Reed & Earl Dixon Produced by: Brandun Reed & Earl Dixon Mixed & Mastered by: Earl Dixon http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/08/polaroid-kiss-stop-motion Audesi - Analog Mechanics (clip) [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/2007-08-15.mp3] http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/08/analog-mechanics lvl - Home (Audesi Remix) [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/2007-08-14.mp3] Appears courtesy of FIXT Music. http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/08/lvl-home-audesi-remix Polaroid Kiss - White Lies and White Lines (Audesi Remix) (Rough) [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/2007-07-28.mp3] http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/07/polaroid-kiss-white-lies-and-white-lines-audesi-remix Help the United States health-care system rank higher than 37 on the World Health Organization's charts. I bet many of you in America would be shocked to know that is where our country places? Or, perhaps not, because any of you who don't have perfect health probably understand how bad ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/07/my-rant-about-healthcare-in-the-us Audesi - Funky Beat Audio Journal [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/2007-07-10.dnp] Gangsta Lead Extravaganza! lol. http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/07/funky-beat Audesi - Approaching the Sacrosanct [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/2007-06-30.mp3] http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/06/approaching-the-sacrosanct Celldweller - Own Little World (Audesi Remix) [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/OLW128.mp3] Purchase the Audesi Remix MP3 for $0.99 USD. Appears courtesy of FIXT Music. From the Take It & Break It Remix Competition. Own Little World Remix CD A double CD featuring the Audesi Remix of the Celldweller track 'Own Little World' and 25 remixes by other artists is ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/05/order-take-it-break-it-vol-1-own-little-world-remixes-double-cd-1299 Earl Dixon of Audesi was interviewed by Ilker Yücel of ReGen Magazine for his contribution to the Celldweller remix competition for the track 'Own Little World. 208 Besides the remix for Celldweller, you've also produced a fair share of your own music. As Celldweller's sound is somewhat different from yours, how difficult ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/05/audesi-featured-in-regen-magazine Audesi - The Rise and Descent [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/2007-04-05.mp3] Appears courtesy of FIXT Music. From FIXT Music / Position Music Production Music Series - Volume 32 (Electronic) http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/04/the-rise-and-decent Close your eyes for a second, In the brightest of sunlight. and, like a shapshot, Memorize the quaint details of the very best summer of your lifetime. Air that smells like honey, I would pay money, To keep the days sunny, And have barbeques in the park. As if there were no tomorrow. Such a beautiful evening When everything cools down. Memories of ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/03/a-beautiful-day Sometimes it’s ages before I can clearly see, Riding sheets of time where I no longer believe. My eyes battered and pitted by waves of sand, Only with wishes to hold a single grain in hand. Just as lightning strikes with powerful strength, In a blink of an eye it can be measured in length. As ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/03/an-inspired-moment BT has been a big influence to both Audesi and the Underground Bass Masters since we first saw him on tour back in 1998. If you like his work, please repost his information and if you know an information at all, please contact him right away at gear@binaryacoustics.com. Help ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/03/a-20000-usd-reward-for-information-on-bts-studio-robbery I'm happy to announce that the Audesi Mix won 2nd Place in the Celldweller remix competition! All of the remix finalists and other entries are still available to be listened to and commented on at: http://www.remix.celldweller.com/archive/browse.php I'd like to thank everyone who voted as well as congratulate all the finalists as well ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/02/audesi-mix-won-second-place-in-celldweller-remix-competition Polaroid Kiss - Love in Transition [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/2007-02-09.mp3] I just finished producing, mixing & mastering Love in Transition for Polaroid Kiss. Credits: Tom Bennett, Brandun Reed & Earl Dixon Produced by: Brandun Reed & Earl Dixon Mixed & Mastered by: Earl Dixon Update: Love in Transition can be purchased as part of the White Lies and White ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/02/polaroid-kiss-love-in-transition Audesi - Invocation (2007 6e) Audio Journal Entry [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/2007-01-31.dnp] http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2007/01/invocation-2 595599 http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2006/12/the-weather-in-salt-lake 570573 http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2006/11/new-controller-kb-and-les-paul Audesi - Set in Motion Audio Journal [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/2006-08-20.mp3] http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2006/08/set-in-motion Audesi - Sifting Through Solitude [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/2006-07-05.mp3] I looked out the window, the sky was gray. Everything that I've known has long since passed away. I walked outside without locking the door, I got in my car and I drove away. http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2006/07/sifting-through-solitude I've become interested in coding again. I coded in Basic when I first began using computers around the age of seven. You practically had to know how to code in order to use a computer in those days. When I was near 12 ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2006/06/update-or-meandering-ramblings-lol Audesi - Glitch 3 Audio Journal [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/2006-05-05.mp3] http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2006/05/glitch-3 Audesi - Where the Sky Turns Blue Again Audio Journal [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/2006-03-30.mp3] I don't know where the sky turns blue, with me and you, where the sky turns blue again. Singing along the same old song, I'm starting to see where I've been going wrong. When time leans down to pick us up, We will learn to drink ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2006/03/where-the-sky-turns-blue-again 532537540543546549552555 Audesi bumper stickers are now available from Cafepress. 564 http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2006/03/pics-of-the-studio These are Dreary Daffodils I drew for Mandy: 559 With a little Photoshop: 562 http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2006/03/dreary-daffodils Today I got laid off from my job, yet, I felt an overwhelming sense of possibility as I drove away. The air was fresher and Spring was coming. It was such a nice day anyway! It's shameful being stuck inside those brick and ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2006/03/brick-and-mortar Audesi - Come Tomorrow Audio Journal [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/2005-06-09.mp3] As the sun goes down, I'll be waiting for tomorrow to come. and as I lay here, I'll be thinking of you. So, come tomorrow I'll be ready to let it go. I'll leave behind my sorrows, for awhile. Here, the tide gently sways, I've managed to walk away, but I can't stop holding on, I'm ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2005/06/come-tomorrow If I can break free from these chains and walk away from the charred remains. I'd enter into a World of rushing storms, where rain trickles down my spine and promises me something more. Today I'll walk away, knowing that I'm leaving home, away from this prison that's been so safe ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2005/05/trickling-down-my-spine Would you stand here by the window with me, just to be here, to see what we can see? Time will be such a lonely place, when it runs out of people like you and me. Will it exist at all, when nothing can see the leaves fall from ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2005/04/what-we-can-see 712709727715730718732721724706735702 http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2005/02/february-16th-2006 I’m not doing anything too innovative, or different than anybody else is. I always hoped that I was, as we all hope to leave our legacy on the World. When you look back at artists, such as Bach or Beethoven, those people wrote in popular styles of the times, which ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2005/02/giving-up-the-ghost 694698 http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2005/02/february-2nd-2005 680684687 http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2005/01/pictures-of-studio Its crazy how many thoughts run through the human mind in a day and it’s hard to believe our minds could ever be still; that we could never create. Create is what I feel I was meant to do and perhaps all of us are. I really love to have ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2004/12/internal-struggles I have a billion things running through my head and I can't sleep. There's just no relief from the constant, becoming maddening stream. I'm thinking about all the shit between me and Corby, which is also making me think of the bottled up shit I had about Brandun and how ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2004/12/lack-of-sleep-is-maddening Writing is an art that can be very cathartic and raw in form. I want to read something fictitious, the reason being is that I want my mind to let go and explore for once. I’ve always considered myself a dreamer, but if I am, I’ve become a very stiff ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2004/11/the-moments-im-free Explain things in the simplest way possible. It's a good quote from Albert Einstein. I'm writing this down right now to remind myself. It's a wise approach for my music at the moment. It's time I simplify all of the projects that I'm working on, sort them out in an ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2004/11/the-scale-simplicity-perspective-and-complexity to vent without self-destruction, to plan without interference, to complain without an audience, to dream without restriction, to know my own mind. http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2004/11/the-things-im-learning I'm losing an uphill battle, doing nothing with my life. Sitting in limbo, unable to make decisions. Wanting to reach out and hold onto something, even though I really do have security around me, only if I reach out and embrace it. I have people who care, but maybe it's ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2004/10/contemplating-the-struggle Do you ever wonder what makes this world go around? What makes us each so beautifully insane? Do you wonder why we let our dreams die beneath wasted self-worth, when we know full well that we can do what we choose. Yet we refuse, living each day as if one day we'll be set free, while ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2004/10/beautifully-insane Okay, I think I've always known the component to being an artist is simply spending the time on art. Well, anything can be said about how things should or could or even could have been done, but the simplest truth when it comes down to it is that you must ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2004/08/art-time-creativity 217219221223225 http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2004/08/august-13th-2004 I feel like I've been undergoing some sort of writers block, or maybe I should rephrase that as writers-deprivation, because I'm sure I have a ton of shit just waiting at the surface to be relieved. Something is happening in my mind. Perhaps this is growth. I suddenly recognise all ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2004/08/writers-deprevation July 21st - 22nd, 2004 230232234236238240242244246248250252 254256258260262264266268270272274276278280282284286288290292294296298300302304306308310312316318320322324326328330332334336338 http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2004/07/july-21st-23nd-2004 I don't suppose I lead the most interesting of lives and most the time music is consuming my mind in some form, which it still is.. For some reason my older stuff is starting to sound better to me.  I don't know if it's just because I adjusted my sub ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2004/06/stuff 344347349351353355357 http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2004/02/february-19th-2004 I need to reassess how I feel about everything related to music. There are issues that are preventing me from being truly creative and inspired. The options seem quite unlimited when it comes to the directions I can take in music, but that is the very thing that I’ve become ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2004/01/reassessment It’s 2004, time flies. This year I turn 24. Where are my goals and dreams in my life going? Last night I started listening to a bunch of old bass CDs in Mandy's little ghettoblaster-ish stereo beside the bed. The last one I played with the lights off, as I ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2004/01/jan-4th-2004 418421423425427429431433435437 http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2003/12/december-9th-2003 383386388390392394396398400402404406408410412 http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2003/12/december-3rd-2003 Aequanimus 3 (3) [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/11-20-2003.mp3] Lyrics posted on Aug 8th, 2003. Mandy came out because she was picking up some bread for her grandma and also to go get something to eat, so she came and got me and I went with her and then we went to Gateway and we got something to ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2003/11/november-20th-2003 I got woke up at 9am today to go help pick up a wood lathe my mum bought for my dad, my cousin Shirley was holding it until we got there because they were selling out as fast as they'd get in. Matt came over today and we worked on ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2003/11/november-18th-2003 I wake up today on the couch in the back room. My entire head hurts. I'm sweating under the blankets. This sickness sucks and I really need to start getting better.. ahh!! Mandy comes in and wakes me up around 10 in the morning? She says she loves me and ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2003/11/november-17th-2003 Mandy got on the computer at the library and we were talking on-line for a while, she was there waiting for her dad or something, she was going over to Sizzler to eat and then she was going to come over to see me later. We went to Gateway and Mandy ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2003/11/november-16th-2003 I lay in bed. I woke up around 9:20 thinking Mandy must have slept in or wondering what might have happened, that she should probably be here by now. Falling back to sleep.. Mandy came in around 10am. Her alarm didn't quite wake her as planned, so she woke up ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2003/11/november-15th-2003 Mandy got this book for us so that we can figure out things to do together with a lot of coupons in it that give you 2 for the price of 1 on a lot of things, it's pretty awesome. It's got all kinds of different things around Utah. Things ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2003/11/november-14th-2003 I woke up with a sore throat, I was sleeping good on the couch though. We moved into Mandy's room around 8. Her beds kind of hard though, the couch is actually a lot softer. heh. My sore throat started bugging me pretty bad, I had to get up and ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2003/11/november-12th-2003 I burnt Mandy a Marilyn Manson CD she's wanted. Me and Mandy went down to Gateway after debating between that or a show, we finally parked in the parking garage on the south side of the place. It was a good feeling, walking around and holding her again. We went and ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2003/11/november-11th-2003 Mandy met a friend at the library today, who came up to her. So obviously he liked her as he came up to her with a pick-up line. "Don't I know you from somewhere?". Which she laughed and said was pretty lame. He's like, oh.. I'm just going to give ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2003/11/november-9th-2003 It's funny how your outlook on everything changes over time, how all the negative thinking or the over-critical rules you lay on top of yourself can get to you over time. How you can lose the passion for music that you once had. Not entirely, that would never happen, but ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2003/11/november-8th-2003 I've been missing Mandy a lot. I haven't seen her since Halloween. It was so incredibly good to see her and to hold her in my arms and kiss her. We just hung around and indulged in each other as we could. She's been sick, the flu and then a sore ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2003/11/november-7th-2003 Living a Lie (7) [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/11-05-2003.mp3] I have always tried to live with reality; to stop trying to climb to the top and fit in with society. When I was young, my thoughts were strong. Nothing could bring me down, but time ticks by and life is the same. I feel like I'm ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2003/11/november-5th-2003-audio Crazy Rock (2) [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/11-04-2003-02.mp3] Piano Improvision [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/11-04-2003.mp3]   http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2003/11/november-4th-2003 You're the One [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/11-03-2003.mp3] In the times I fought my bitterness, My heart ached in a waking sadness. I screamed out and prayed for someone to take away this emptiness. You're the one that came to me, The only one that could stand to see, The one that can love me for who I am, The one that's willing ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2003/11/november-3rd-2003 452 Matt, Michele and Dustin came over, later Corby and Trisha and all of them came over too. But I left before they got here. I helped my mum put together a witch thing on the porch and went with her to the store to get some stuff. I guess we ... http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2003/10/october-31st-2003 Was at Mandy's. We watched Full Metal Jacket until my parents got there to pick me up. I wish I had more time to tell Mandy bye, I left too quickly. On the way home I bought some pants. I finally got some camouflage pants. hehe http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2003/10/october-28th-2003 Mandy picked me up in the morning and took me to her house. A little bit later, she got got sick. I had to drive her car to Smith's to get her some medicine. Later, we watched Clerks and ordered Pizza and Cheese Sticks. http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2003/10/october-27th-2003  Armani (6) [audio:http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/audio-journal/10-23-2003.mp3] It was Matt’s b-day today. He turned 24. I hate the fact that we’re getting old… http://blogs.octavarecords.com/audesi/2003/10/october-23rd-2003-audio