I’m angry about the current situations in my life. I’ve noticed that today. I have a tendency of shutting certain things out of my life while holding so hard onto the things I think will make me happy. But now, I’m at this point where I really want to get out and do so much, just leave it behind me. I suddenly have this hole… I’m giving up on something I’ve looked forward to greatly because I have a pretty clear picture of how that will go. But I’m left with this hole and there is shit I have to do. I feel… I don’t know how I feel? Sad, angry, lonely, bitter, foolish, ugly, heartbroken, unsuccessful & boring. But why am I blaming myself?? … Maybe because I let myself enter fairyland. Always; no matter; only you; meant to be… don’t you believe me? I did believe and that’s why. I feel as though my heart is being ripped out my throat. and I think I hate you!!!