I regret that I ended up staying in the city this weekend. Why can’t I just be happy? Why can’t I just forget all the bad feelings.. Drown all my fears away. Forget all my desires.. Forget my heart telling me that maybe I’m thinking all wrong. Forget what my heart has been telling me? Why can’t I forget this hole that’s pierced through my heart.. then maybe it would all go away. But that’s just the problem, it’s taken away from me.. I never wanted it to leave. There’s not much room left for me and all the fears I ever had seem to have been logical and proven. Why does this ail me so much??? Why? Why can’t things just feel the way they use to appear to be. So bright. Why do I keep running towards the door that keeps closing slightly more each day? Why did I believe? Why? I just want to lay on the floor and not get up.. There’s no running away from this. I don’t know what I believe anymore. If I never say another word how I feel again, if I have to bury my soul under a pack of lies that I hand myself, it doesn’t mean I wasn’t in love.